so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
