You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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