I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
