Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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