She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I love you. Go after that dick
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
