i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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