it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
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