he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
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You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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