yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
