tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Just cropdusted the office
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
My orgasm happened in two different decades
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
