i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
and she was petting her beer can
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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