ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Found the puke drawer
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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