she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
