He is such a slut. More and more my type.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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