Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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