even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
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