omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
