Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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