I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
