u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize