Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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