How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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