Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
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