Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
