Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
