Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
