I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
