Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
