For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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