I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
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