What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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