So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
