ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
