I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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