it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
