Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
