can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
whose ass print is on the piano?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
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