Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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