Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
