Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
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I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
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Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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