Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
