Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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