I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
