I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
