You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
