I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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