I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
