She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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