so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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