Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce