Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
