I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
21 Horny People Confess Their Boldest Sexual Advances
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
29 Shocking Confessions That People Thought Were A Joke
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked