Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
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She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
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Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
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She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.