Texts From Last Night

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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating

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  (856): unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating http://tfl.nu/8w72
  Replies (36) Good night (1576) Bad night (3738)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.

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  (207): no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod. http://tfl.nu/vf6z
  Replies (29) Good night (1510) Bad night (8434)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.

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  (973): Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick. http://tfl.nu/r63g
  Replies (7) Good night (946) Bad night (3759)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.

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  (469): Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me. http://tfl.nu/jccz
  Replies (26) Good night (1021) Bad night (4061)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..

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  (256): It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.. http://tfl.nu/zyk4
  Replies (9) Good night (2646) Bad night (1186)
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  (310): View more from California

  He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday

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  (310): He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday http://tfl.nu/b2jq
  Replies (11) Good night (3156) Bad night (1364)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com

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  (770): The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com http://tfl.nu/sswj
  Replies (38) Good night (1350) Bad night (3166)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?

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  (253): Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls? http://tfl.nu/i6ht
  Replies (18) Good night (4088) Bad night (795)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup

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  (207): I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup http://tfl.nu/gqz1
  Replies (20) Good night (1613) Bad night (617)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang

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  (412): I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang http://tfl.nu/dtxk
  Replies (20) Good night (2003) Bad night (744)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.

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  (802): I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place. http://tfl.nu/5u6t
  Replies (2) Good night (1077) Bad night (578)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.

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  (719): I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know. http://tfl.nu/zd6h
  Replies (5) Good night (704) Bad night (1294)
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  (438): View more from Quebec

  Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.

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  (438): Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up. http://tfl.nu/xk7n
  Replies (3) Good night (623) Bad night (371)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"

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  (870): I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough" http://tfl.nu/ficv
  Replies (2) Good night (1461) Bad night (339)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms

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  (647): He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms http://tfl.nu/bn1m
  Replies (1) Good night (782) Bad night (276)

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