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• (301): View more from Maryland

  : I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.

  (1-301): View more from Maryland

  but u need boobs to get one in the first place.

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• (210): View more from Texas

  Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys

  Fav 7 881 1321

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  I learned to sign I want to be on you today

  (1-309): View more from Illinois

  Score

  (309): View more from Illinois

  Deaf chicks here I come

  Fav 35 5805 928

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.

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• 

  19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (607): View more from New York

  Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?

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• (509): View more from Washington

  She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.

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• 

  The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (785): View more from Kansas

  Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.

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• (518): View more from New York

  I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.

  Fav 2 102 231

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• (360): View more from Washington

  The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.

  Fav 2 53 5

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• (209): View more from California

  She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper

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