AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
