i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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