I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
