does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
She even gives head with a lisp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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