Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i dont even know how to be here
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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