Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
