Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
