my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Randomize
