his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
