Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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