the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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