Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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