this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
