I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Are we still banned from the library?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
