sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
